Honestly.

You know when you get your hair cut, and someone walks up to you and says "Oh! You cut your hair. Do you like it?" and you immediately realize you've got a problem on your hands? Because even if you do like it, even if you love it, they clearly do not. Otherwise, why didn't they just say, "I like your haircut" Come on people. We know that trick.

So my problem is that I'm like that all the time. I have a hard time sugar coating things. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. If you didn't want to know what I thought, then why did you ask? Now for the most part, its been a beneficial trait, because I usually have very nice things to say. And even when I had to deal with conflict, it definitely simplified DTR's and roommate drama. But sometimes I wish I could just twist my tongue around saying something I don't really mean at all, because sometimes, just on a few rare occasions, my response is entirely not what the other person wants to hear. And I know it! But I still can't wrap my brain around a little white lie for the good of the whole.

See, I have been interviewing for a nursing internship this summer at a hospital nearby.  Internships are few and far between in nursing school, this was literally the first one I have heard of in the past three years. I decided to apply for it even though it wasn't my dream job or even my second choice in specialty in the medical field because frankly, the application was easy and the job came with a pretty little price tag. I updated my resume and my portfolio, had lessons on interviewing from both my dad and my husband, and practiced all my answers out loud on the hour long drive up to my interview. It was going really well until the committee came to a question that caught me completely off gaurd.

"Where do you see yourself five years after graduation?"

Do you know what happened? I laughed. Right there, out loud, in the interview! So professional.

Now luckily for me, following my giggle, the committee laughed too and assured me that I really would graduate, nursing school wasn't really going to last forever even though it feels like it will, and reaffirmed that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

True, nursing school does feel like it will last forever, but that's not at all why I laughed. I laughed because when they asked me where I would be five years after graduation the immediate response in my head was "In five years I will be a mom at home with babies. Two preferably."

Thankfully, although I have not learned the skill of sugar coating, I have learned the skill of holding my tongue. I did not repeat my real answer out loud, and I was able to come up with a reasonable response. Unfortunately, it was also something I really see myself doing in five years (Community Nursing: teaching prenatal/ health promotional classes or doing school nursing) which also has absolutely nothing to do with the job I was interviewing for. But I just couldn't give them the answer that they wanted because it just wouldn't be true! And I even got a second interview out of it! But then they asked that dang question again.

Note to self: do not apply for jobs you do not want.

So now my summer plan is to stay in home health care at my current job and spend all my extra time enjoying summer with my husband, instead of spending it commuting to a job I did not want for a salary that I did. And I even found a summer volunteer position in community nursing too. So no I didn't get the job, but for some reason, I'm thrilled about the whole thing.

Comments

  1. Am I a jerk for being glad that now you get to hang out with me at the pool this summer instead of never seeing you because you are at a lame internship? Because I am. :)

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  2. Oh my heavens, I just wrote about why not getting the job you interview is a tender mercy from the Lord. We are living the same life. hahaha. And i find it hilarious that we are both content being semi unemployed.
    Cause I am.
    Don't tell my husband.
    love you!

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